Thursday, 17 October 2013

Grand Budapest Hotel

We can barely contain our excitement! The poster for Wes Anderson's new film (featuring Ed Munro as Boy With Apple) has been released at last. A delicious cocktail of sugar and sinister it is the most tantalising thing I have ever seen. 
Brian! Cancel all plans this weekend... Never mind the silly football, we have DIY to do. I want the whole of the front of the house painted... well pink, obvs.

Official trailer coming out any minute!

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Saturday, 14 September 2013

Wedding Bouquet

It's been a shit week in what has turned out to be a hellish year but today, laden with bunches of late summer flowers from the garden and a tangle of Christmas lights from the loft, we are making our way down to South London to turn my little sisters bedroom into a place fit for a princess. A handful of close family and a registrar will gather around her bed to witness the marriage to her life-long partner, Andy.  
Due to the speed at which this happy event has been arranged (24 hours), Nicky feels cheated of a hen night so has requested that Annabel track down some penis straws in Brighton with which the ladies can sip their champagne. That aside it should be a perfect day.

Wednesday, 31 July 2013

In Perspective

How do you write a silly blog about daft dog antics, chaotic lads' mags photoshoots, frivolous home-decorating ideas and inane teenage banter when your younger sister has just been diagnosed with one of the most devastating and difficult to treat cancers known to man? You don't. You post a picture of next-door's new puppy peeking over the fence and get on with researching everything you can about this dreadful disease.
Logan the Bichon Frise

Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Dat is het gekste wat ik ooit heb gezien

Well let's have a revamp indoors then. I'm bored of all this light 'n' airy minimalism. How about something like this in the basement? Maybe without the geese.

IMG 2296 from sarah on Vimeo.

Monday, 3 June 2013

Garden Watering System : Phase 2

Brian... you know you did that watering system you put in the garden? Well I've seen a fountain that I like. Same principle. It's just a few nozzles and stuff linked up to a computer. With music. Oh, and fire. 
A fantastic finale to our trip to Efteling in Holland last week.

Thursday, 9 May 2013

The Life of Brian

So, while I was in Turkey gazing at this...
Brian was shut away in his Hackney attic toiling over this...
"Brian... think you need a holiday, maybe get some sunshine, change of scene..."
"I rather fancied a couple of days in Warsaw actually" 
"Why don't you cut that ear off and have done with it"

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Saturday, 4 May 2013

Wet Weekend

Hey! It's May bank holiday weekend... and you know what that means!! Time to jetwash the patio!!

"JOE!! Put that bloody thing down."

Thursday, 18 April 2013

Still Waters

'Hidden' by Brian Ayling
Just as we're getting all excited about blossom on the trees and the prospect of a barbecue Brian's latest painting hauls us back through the mists of time (well, a couple of weeks) to the chill of winter and early morning dog walks when you could see your breath in front of the vanishing trees.

Saturday, 13 April 2013

Paw Treatment

I'm really looking forward to going away with Mimi and Alexis. It's years since I've been on a girly holiday...chatting about fashion and films, gossiping about celebs, swapping beauty tips, borrowing each other's cosmetics. "Go ahead ladies, get stuck in!"

Thursday, 11 April 2013

Teenage Tea Ceremony

What's happened here?...
What creature coud have been so desperate for a cup of tea that they would tear open a carton with such frenzy?
A dog? I doubt it.
Could we have a rat in the house, the size of a cat?
Or could it be a young adult that has gone through life having absolutely everything done for them and had therefore, never encountered an unopened box of tea bags?
Perhaps it's the same individual that attempted to make cheese on toast in the toaster. 

Friday, 5 April 2013

Soft Paris Hard Hackney

Soft Paris, the French equivalent of Ann Summers recently shot their campaign here. All boys were given strict instructions (by me) to stay out of the way...

Brian? BRIAN! Is that you in the background ? Didn't you hear what I said?

Friday, 22 March 2013

Designer Kitchen

What DIY do you, I mean we, have planned for this weekend then?
Well, the kitchen floor's knackered...
It'll only take ten minutes to slap a bit of brown paint over that.
No. I don't want it flat brown. I want that swirly Pucci pattern all over it.
Very well darling.
Don't sigh.

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Ed Plays Wembley

Stop fussing. There's going to be hundreds of kids on that stage, you'll be right at the back, it'll be dark, no-one will be able to see you, they certainly won't notice what trousers you've got on and definitely won't be able to tell whether you're wearing 'Topman Spray-On' jeans or those old things of Joe's. Get in the car, we're going to be late.
Ed (far left) with Italia Conti Boys, Wembley Arena, Voice in a Million
Probably won't even be that many people there because of all the snow...

Thursday, 21 February 2013

Concrete Rules

I must have watched Mary Mungo and Midge at a very impressionable age: high-rise living has always appealed to me.  Maybe it was the pretty, pastel colours of Mary’s tower block; the sweet, 60s daisies in her window box; the view from her window of the idyllic, little town; the playground; her cute pets… I don’t know but I guess it was the root of my Barbican obsession.  Yes, I know that millions of tons of concrete can’t be described as pretty and window boxes are forbidden in the towers but if you read this article, written by Jonathan Glancey in 2001, just as the buildings were listed, you will get a sense of just how idyllic urban living can be.

From my south-facing balcony, I look across mature gardens to the dome of St Paul's Cathedral.
For any Londoner, and particularly one with a love of architecture, it would be hard to beat a view of this, the greatest of all domes. This view and the light captivated me. The huge skies above the Barbican are things denied to Londoners living in two-, three- and even four-storey homes. The moon seems bigger and more splendid here than it ever can from the pavement, glimpsed through the interstices of city streets. Early-morning jets bound for Heathrow etch silent vapour trails across the sky. Turboprops nosing into City Airport thrum as they turn over St Paul's, animating a skyscape unexpectedy rich in bird life. 
And so it was that yesterday I managed to persuade an estate agent to take us to the 30th floor of Lauderdale Tower. Standing in the groovy, triangular lobby, I could just see Mungo stood by the lift doors with Midge perched on his nose, pressing the button.
This is the view…

On a crisp, sunny day, the towers of the Barbican rise like the best 50s sculpture up through Piranesian car-park basements and flower-bedecked podiums into the bird- and plane-graced City sky. To date, only Tower 42, the former NatWest Tower, designed by Colonel Seifert, has the temerity to look down on London's tallest housing. On misty days, the Barbican towers vanish, as the Empire State Building does so magically in Manhattan, their sculptural bulk suggesting some ruined castle, Tintagel or Richmond, perhaps. They are never less than a haunting sight.
Sigh... couldn’t have put it better myself.
Hang on! What’s this?
The sheer mass of all those millions of tons of concrete means that homes here are as soundproof as they come this side of the padded cells of an asylum. Maybe there are people here who play the Chemical Brothers or Deep Purple in Rock at full volume. Maybe there are dogs howling illicitly through the night (no dogs, by order: one of the shortcomings of Barbican living). Perhaps there are babies bawling for attention. Yet the Barbican sleeps on, its urban dream pinpricked by the occasional police siren.

Right. I’ve never liked all that dark, brutal concrete. I wouldn’t live there if you paid me.
Fairytale Chateau in the French countryside.. That’s the way to go. They like dogs in France.
Bet the BBC bought that Mary, Mungo and Midge off Frog TV…

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Man With A Van Ruisdael

This is Brian's latest creepy painting. He tells me he's continuing the Northern European, Caspar David Friedrich/Jacob Van Ruisdael of Haarlem tradition of Romantic, gothic landscapes, typically featuring contemplative figures silhouetted against dark skies and barren trees. 
Have a nice day!
Van by Brian Ayling (oil on canvas 77cm x 102cm)

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Holy See - ing Things

At 85 years of age and in frail health Pope Benedict XVI hasn't been out and about very much lately and sightings of him are increasingly rare. Flicking through photos of our trip to Rome in 2010 makes me think how fortunate we were to be able to observe him so closely from our roof terrace. He appeared to be in fine fettle, up with the lark, in his white robes ready for morning prayer; then, when we returned at the end of the day he would be admiring the sunset over the Vatican while we sipped our Camparis. I even gave him a little wave now and then. It was like having our own private audience...

Friday, 1 February 2013

Brian's a Raving Lunatic

ME. What do you mean you’re having a rave? Not here you’re not.
JOE. Chill, we’re hiring a room above a pub in Hackney.
ME. No you’re not.
JOE. We are, it’s all sorted. We’ve been to see the bloke and it’s all arranged.
ED. What, you some sort of nightclub don now?
JOE. Shut up Ed. We’re selling tickets and 140 people on Facebook have already said they’re coming.
ME. Oh my God Joe, what if someone gets stabbed? What if a fire starts? Didn’t you hear about that dreadful thing in Brazil. What if a load of horrible kids show up and cause trouble? What if…
ED. What if a massive fight starts and all the chandeliers get smashed?
JOE. There’s no chandeliers in there, idiot. There’s nothing in there. It’s just and empty room.
ME. There’s windows though. Someone might fall through a window.
JOE. They won’t.
ME. How do you know they wont?
BRIAN. Exactly. You’ll be responsible if anything bad happens.
JOE. It won’t.
ME. You’ll have to get insurance, security, some kind of license…
JOE. No we won’t.
ED. How much you selling tickets for?
JOE. Four quid.
ED. Who’s gunna pay four quid to go and stand in an empty room?
JOE. Shut up Ed. Me and Joe Parks are gunna be DJ ing.
ED. Hahahhahaha
BRIAN. No Joe. It’s a mad idea. We’re happy for you to go to these raves..
ME. Well, not exactly “happy”…
BRIAN. Well, I think it’s okay to go along to something that’s been properly organized by sensible adults but I’m not agreeing to you, a seventeen year-old, being responsible for the whole thing. It’s ridiculous. Forget it. No Joe, I mean it.

BRIAN. Is this blue the right colour then?
JOE. Yeah, that’s cool. Then just put the writing down the side… yeah like that. That looks good.
ED. Let me see. ‘Wavey Nights presents, GET WAVEY’. Hahaha. ‘GET WAVEY!’ What’s that supposed to mean.
JOE. Shut up Ed, it doesn’t mean anything. It just sounds good.
ED. It sounds stupid. I hope you’re gunna give mummy some money for all the ink and paper.
JOE. Shut up Ed.
BRIAN. Right. Shall I put the address at the bottom then? And the price in the corner?
JOE. Yeah. Then can you print them and cut them out. I’m going bed. Mummy, find a box or something for me to put all the tickets in please. I’m gunna take them to college tomorrow. Night.

BRIAN. How was school?
JOE. COLLEGE. I’m gunna punch you if you say school one more time. It was good: sold thirty tickets.
BRIAN. Well done. Let me know if you want me to print any more.
JOE. Cool. Mummy, make me a snack please: I need to answer all these emails from people wanting tickets.

Sunday, 27 January 2013

Dangerous Dog Walks

Cemetrees from sarah on Vimeo.
From skidding on frozen footpaths to squelching through quagmire to walking with trepidation under thrashing trees in Abney Park Cemetery, it's been quite a week for weather. 

Monday, 21 January 2013

Get My Drift?

No. You won't like it. 
No. It's too deep. 
No. We'll lose you.
No. They have much longer legs than you.
No. Because I'll put you down and you'll want to be picked up again straight away.
No. You'll be all wet and I'll have to carry a wet dog around.
No. You'll get that sweet little jumper caked in snow.
No. You'll eat it.
Oh go on then...

Thursday, 17 January 2013

Testing The Water

A perfect day for taking the new iPhone 5 to the park and testing out it's camera: how will it compare to Brian's iPhone 4 and John's iPhone 4G? Will it have a better zoom function? Will the colours be as good? We'll give it a thorough road test and let you know the results: an in depth analysis of all it's functions with plenty of examples so you can evaluate the findings for yourself. 
"Hey Sarah!! Listen to the funny noise this pebble makes when I throw it on the ice."

Testing The Water 1 from sarah on Vimeo.
"Let me do it again."
Testing The Water 2 from sarah on Vimeo.
"One more time."

Testing The Water 3 from sarah on Vimeo.
"Hurry up my fingers are numb."

Testing The Water 4 from sarah on Vimeo.
"Last time, then we'll have to go home. The dogs are frozen stiff and it's getting dark."

Testing The Water 5 from sarah on Vimeo.

Thursday, 10 January 2013

Not Private Enough Hospital

Hospital Visitor Etiquette.
  • Do not greet patient "wag waan pussy?"
  • Do not ask if it's the psychiatric ward.
  • Do not trick invalid into getting out of bed in order to lay there yourself.
  • The electronically-operated orthopaedic bed is not a toy. 
  • Do not hog TV remote control and change channels more frequently than once every 15 seconds.
  • Do not eat patient's left-over lunch or grapes.
  • Do not rip pages out of patient's magazines.
  • Do not debate the endless possibilities of what could be administered via the IV line in front of your mother.
  • Do not offer to bring such substances in on your next visit.
  • Do not outstay your welcome.
  • Joe, visiting John (who has acute tonsillitis with complications) in hospital yesterday.

Monday, 7 January 2013

Spruce Up Your Home

Hi-Vis by Brian Ayling 70cmx90cm
As all those poor, worthless, unloved Christmas trees are tossed out onto the pavement, why not enhance your home with some longer lasting greenery? Brian's just finished painting this dramatic landscape of Clissold Park: it'll last a life-time and promises not to drop (in price).